The NBA playoffs, where caring happens, unless you're Carmelo

Or, perhaps, "The NBA playoffs, where 'J.R. Smith's thugs are waiting for you in the parking lot' happens."

The LA/Denver series could have ended up being the most entertaining, if only based on the number of eccentric personalities involved - Kobe, Vujacic, Iverson, Kenyon Martin, J.R. Smith, and Carmelo at times. It's like playing with dynamite. Here are the four things that at the beginning I said had to happen for the Nuggets to have a chance. Needless to say, none of them came even close to happening, and now the Nuggets are back home researching the latest hard tattoos.

1. J.R. Smith must play the ENTIRE GAME. He could be one of the top 10 guards in the league with proper coaching. George Karl is simply an idiot.

2. Nene must play at least 20 minutes a game. Go ahead and let the long hair fool you - Gasol is a girl and definitely doesn't appreciate anyone bodying him up. Nene's physical defense could disrupt the finesse game that he loves so much.

3. Iverson must show some unparalleled leadership and motivate the rest of his team both by example and by getting right in their face when necessary. The Nuggets could very well be the most listless team in the NBA. Sometimes I think they let others teams score just so that they can get the ball back faster. They just sit around while the other team parades all day to the basket. Here's the newest show for ABC: The Stiffs, staring the entire Nuggets team. In the first episode, their house burns down on top of them while they all sit around and admire each other's tattoos.

4. Carmelo must give a rip. He's potentially the best player on the Nuggets, except when he's jacking around, which is his default mode of action. I think over the course of the series he averaged five missed layups a game. Someone said he looks like he's high when he plays. I'm 99% percent sure that he's not high - there's actually a reasonable chance.

bonus: 5. George Karl must be fired. He commands no respect. It sounds in the huddle like he's afraid that one of the players will slap him across the face and force him to get a ghetto tattoo at knife point.

And what happened? Smith dominated on the offensive end from 3's to taking it to the rack seemingly whenever he wanted (on defense wasn't much different than the rest of the team), but then would disappear from the rotation for almost an entire quarter. KMart seemed to be the only player besides J.R. Smith who cared somewhat. By the way, I wonder how he feels about having his nickname be the same as a troubled department store chain that sold Martha Stewart merchandise. Doesn't that put a sizable dent in his street cred? Iverson was like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. He just kind of lurked in the shadows, you knew he had all kinds of potential, but in the end he never put anything significant together and passed away. Nene was a ghost, and Gasol did whatever he wanted. Judging by how easy it was for Gasol, I'd wager that he could have ridden a skateboard down the lane and scored. That's how untouched he was during the series. Carmelo is becoming the new tin man of the NBA, rivaling Vince Carter - neither apparently have any heart.

Coming next: Top 10 moments of the playoffs so far...